It happened to her / him

Information for the partners and supporters of sexual assault
and sexual abuse survivors.

What is Sexual Abuse?
Sexual Abuse involves any unwanted sexual attention or contact. It can range from showing children sexually explicit pictures through to unwanted touching and sexual intercourse. Sexual abuse can happen to children and adults of all ages and backgrounds, both male and female.

If someone you care about has been sexually assaulted you may be feeling…

Angry Frustrated Helpless Not sure of what to do next Unsure of what to say Shocked Sad

If someone you care about has been sexually assaulted they may be feeling…

They may be experiencing…

Flashbacks:
Intrusive memories of the abuse. These can be very vivid and frightening.

Panic Attacks:
Moments of intense fear. Can happen anywhere, anytime.

Nightmares.

Dislike of touching or sexual contact
They may avoid touching, switch off during sex or avoid being sexual altogether. They may also feel their only value is sexual and seek affection through sexual contact.

Difficulty trusting you or others
Sexual abuse is a very traumatizing experience. Survivors endeavour to cope in many different ways, some of which include drug and alcohol abuse, eating disorders, self-harm or isolating themselves.

How can I help?
Talking about the abuse can be difficult for a survivor at any stage of their healing. There is no right thing to say or do, however it is important how you react as this can affect how they feel about themselves and their recovery.

Do's

• Believe them and what they tell you

• Allow them to express their feelings

• Listen to them when they want to talk

• Reassure them that it wasn’t their fault

• Support them in seeking help to heal

• Respect the time and space it takes to heal

Don'ts

• Don’t be judgemental – they may cope in ways that are hard for you to understand

• Don’t sympathise with the abuser

• Don’t ignore what’s happened

• Don’t try and take over and make decisions for them

• Don’t blame them

• Don’t pressure them to be sexual before they’re ready

"Compiled for the Sexual Abuse Centre by Megan Rowe"